Shine so bright

"Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you"

I feel I'm in a very fortunate position at this very moment. I'm going through a time in my life when a lot, lot, lot has happened to me. My life has changed so drastically twice in the last two and a half years. I've been through more than I could handle. Now I reached calm waters. I get to enjoy silent moments on benches thinking and analyzing. Why I feel so lucky is because I'm the one who get's to decide what kind of impact it has on me. Things happen for a reason…sure... but you're still the one who decides what that reason is. I'm being very open minded to say the least. Cooking up some juicy reasons on these dark benches of mine.

 I did what I said I would do the last time around and I cut my hair. It was a very exciting and happy moment for me.

I went back to the village I used to live in, to have it cut by my friend. What surprised me on my way there was the darkness that surrounded me. You don't realize how dark it get's when you live in the city. There is always light around. I even got lost on my way. Lost in a little village I lived in for 2 years. The mind really bends and flexes in all kinds of ways. Even in the the more erasing and forgetting kind of way.

When I drove back to Montreal I was less surprised. The wonderfully familiar feeling of warmth, pride and belonging entered my body. It was stronger than ever before. A real feeling of coming home, just the way I used to feel when coming back to Helsinki after a ride in the countryside, to meet the rest of the family.

My family never lived in the same city as I, so in a way it's still the same I just switch my Helsinki to my Montreal.

(my Helsinki, my Töölö)

(my Montreal, my Gay Village)

 "Taking time to do nothing, puts everything in perspective"

This moment of seeing the light in the end of the tunnel…what can I say…mine is shining so bright.