Hope for improvement

I'm starting to feel that I'm due to leave the country. I'm running out of patience. Mexico is an absolutely beautiful country but boy oh boy do you need patience if you want to live here.
We only have a few days left and then we are off to Montreal. Another place that requires a lot of patience. But at least the issues will be different, so we have that to look forward to.

It has been lovely to walk around a bit more. Wearing a mask is still obligatory. Mostly you can just put them on when you go inside stores. It's only down town in the historical center they ask you to put the mask on in the streets. It's interesting how in restaurants you don't have to wear a mask but if you go in an out of a bakery you have to wear a mask and you can't bring your baby with you. To be a single mother would be really hard right now. Thankfully I'm not.

I have ordered margaritas mostly in all restaurants as that's what I missed the most. Well that and not having to do the dishes after I finished eating. 

So as for why I'm running out of patience... It's all these little things. Like going to a new bakery close by. Wanting to buy a baguette you had a few days earlier. One that was a bit healthier and better tasting than the average bread here. Well you go there but they haven't made the bread yet they say but that in an hour you will be able to get it. Well you wait an hour and add an extra 15 minutes just in case and you go back. No bread still. Again, come back in an hour. Seriously? Like I don't have anything better to do with my day than wait around for these people to bake a bread. The name of the place is Esperanza, hope. Perhaps it stands for hope ... of improvement ... hope that somebody else will open up a better bakery. This is the same place they didn't let me in because I had my baby boy with me. I was asking them to walk 20 meters and get me a baguette as the cash register where I was standing when having the conversation was right by the door. Five employees standing around and nobody could actually give service and go and get the darn baguette for me. So when they actually feel to bake the darn bread, they refuse to sell it to you. 

And then there's Aeromexico trying our patience. So far they have canceled our flights once and changed them twice. We have to stay the night in Mexico City and they refuse to pay the hotel for us. Even if our original flight wouldn't have required it. Something tells me that it's even going to get worse, so I will keep you posted. Customer service ... hope for improvement. 

I have however decided to enjoy the last days here and not get worked up about things I can't control. 

I will follow my son's motto in life and take one step at a time and keep on smiling.

Life is what happens

Pray to the forger of the sky, to forge the sky to be bright

Beg the weaver of the sky, to weave grey into clear

Glowing velvet from the darkness

To plait yearning to be beautiful

A chain of silver from longing

To strike the light to the black of their hammer

It was to these words my son came to the world. They were sang to him in Finnish.

We recently got to celebrate my son's 9 months and it happened to fall on the same day as we had our 6 year anniversary with my husband. 6 years as a duo, 9 months as a trio. 

This song is the song I turn to when I need the blood to pump in my veins. If I'm exhausted but I still need to keep on pushing. We had reach the stage of labour when I was ready to give up. It just felt so hopeless. I remember my husband asking me "Is it time for Rammstein?" I answered him "No, it's time for Ruoska, put Alasin". My son came out so fast that the doctor barely had time to enter the room. I was very grateful for the capable nurses. 

Poor heart in its chest

Beats its chains

Even though it pulls in rage

The link will never break

It sounds a million times better in Finnish and it reminds me of the strength we have inside of us if we just believe in it and don't give up. It's amazing how strong our bodies are. How the heart keeps on beating not matter how we push, pull and stretch. Especially when we are pregnant we understand to appreciate this machinery. We feel more in-tuned with ourselves but at the same time we let go of trying to control things because it's not really in our control. A very liberating feeling. Kinda like the one when you're a passenger on a plane. You can make sure to sleep, eat and go to the bathroom to feel better but it's really up to the pilot if the plane crashes or lands safely. During pregnancy, you can exercise and eat healthy but you put your and your baby's destiny in the hands of Mother Nature. 

We can push our body for quite some time and it just keeps on taking it. Rinsing the system over and over again. Repairing the damage. Pumping new fresh blood. Until one day it has had enough and just stops. 
Last week it stopped for a Finnish woman living in Montreal, she was only 49 years old. The body didn't care that she had 3 daughters left without a mother. It just decided that enough is enough. I can't even begin to imagine the sorrow her tree daughters are going through and the challenge of recovery they have in front of them. Life can be so cruel in so many ways.  

Life can be so many other things as well. Here in Queretaro people are starting to feel a sense of freedom and relief. That's what our trio is going through at least. Today restaurants, stores and parks are allowed to open up. Already on Monday I felt a sense of relief when I got to wake up and head to Zumba class. Just to see some friendly faces again and talk about the 3 challenging months behind us, felt really good. We all kept on smiling and laughing even if we kept saying things like; "we lost our work and don't know when our next salary will come in". "One day at a time". "Step by step". I feel this is what we all keep on repeating like a mantra to ourselves not to freak out. 

We have never had much control over life but I think we all have thought we did. Uncertainty is what we all have had to befriend. 

As for our trio. We are so far all in good health as far as we know and we have tickets back to Montreal in about two weeks. They already got canceled once and perhaps will so again but we keep on hoping that the plane will land us safely on Canadian land again. One day at a time ... now we are still in Queretaro and will enjoy the city a bit more until life will reveals its plans for us.

The right to live and breathe

This week I can't help but wonder why certain things get so much attention in media and why it spreads like an epidemic on social media. It's been all about how black life matters. It definitely does. I completely agree that we all should be equal no matter what the skin color or gender. Not to forget about animal rights either. All life matters. I just feel that if we all are only focused on what is happening in the USA, al lot of other lives gets forgotten. 

Like here in Mexico, can you Mexicans please go out and fight for female lives? Every day 10 women get murdered brutally. They get kidnapped, raped, sometimes skinned to death. It's absolutely horrible how frequently this happens. Now during COVID-19 it has gotten even worse. Because it's often by a family member. The term women include girls yet to become women. They never get to grow up and see what an unequal life they would have had in this country. How about we all go out in the streets and shout about this? Female life matters!!!

And to my Canadian fiends. The worst mass killing of the country's history happened now in April in Nova Scotia. There wasn't a beep about this in social media. These 22 lives clearly didn't matter. Justin Trudeau barely mumbled something about it. Probably only because amongst the dead there was a police woman who got called in on duty. I have tried to find more information about this ever since but it's like it has been hushed up. A white male going about the neighborhood killing who ever was in his way. Completely normal and acceptable apparently?? At least the killer got killed, so some kind of justice was served.

The policeman who killed the black man in Minneapolis hopefully will be put to serving his time in prison along with the 3 other policemen who were holding the victim down. Unfortunately the justice system they have in the USA has let other policemen in similar cases free. It's absolutely horrible. 
Here in Mexico a man got killed by the police, in a similar way hold down by several police men. He wasn't wearing a mask in public. Well, that's one version of the reason. I'm guessing it was for something else. He most likely won't get justice either.
I think it's good that we all stand up and speak for justice but my opinion is to do it locally. Buy local, fight for your citizens locally, fight for your animals locally, nature and climate change locally. This way change might actually happen. Little by little it becomes better. If you in Finland publish a black screen on your social media for a man in the USA, I'm sorry to say but it doesn't much matter. 
If you post something regarding unjust police treatment in Finalnd or perhaps one of the Nordic countries you have a better chance of contributing to a change for the better. 
This is obviously just my humble opinion that I needed to get out of my system. 
Yesterday we had the police telling us to wear a mask while driving in a car on our way to the pharmacy. Did I do what they said? Absolutely, I didn't want to die. Do I think it maid sense? Absolutely not. How on earth am I supposed to spread COVID-19 to people from a car that has the windows up and driving at least 40 km/hour? I don't have those superpowers unfortunately.


As for good news happening here in Queretaro. They finally understood that babies need clothing and they took off the plastic and tapes and gave us access to clothing necessities in the supermarkets. 

I was very grateful and happy to be able to buy a first pair of shoes for my sweetheart. 

My son is not quite yet ready to start driving but I promise I will force him to wear a mask if he does. I have understood that a drivers license however is not required? (I'm obviously joking)

They are now discussing of slowly opening up some parks here in the city. So maybe if we are lucky, next week we might be able to sit down on a park bench. I keep you posted of this great event.